NEWS FROM SCOTLAND
Reports by Joe Murphy
The weather has been terrible lately with cold east winds and it is very cold, not pigeon racing weather at all. So fanciers will struggle to have birds fit for the first races at the end of April, in fact I noticed in last week’s pigeon press that some clubs are starting on the 5th of April, which to me is far too early and many birds will be lost at this time of the year. Our season revolves round the long distance races with the Scottish National Flying Club which do not start until June, which is not too bad, however if the birds are not fit they can be lost at this time of the year as well.
North West Federation
Received an email from Scott Morrison telling me about the North West Federation young bird sale scheduled for 20th April. He is hoping to have everything in place and is trying to have most of the pens full on the day, with pedigrees or some notes with each youngster for the purchasers to view. He writes: ‘This will be the first young bird sale in over a decade in conjunction with a breeder/buyer to be flown during the 2014 young bird season, which shall be open to ALL. There will be 40 plus birds auctioned on the evening, with many from the North West’s top lofts along with several top lofts throughout Scotland. These include section and national winners. A raffle will be held on the evening with a “special prize” that would grace any loft in the UK alongside a free prize draw for all that attend. Any fancier from any part of the country that purchases a bird at the sale is eligible to take part in the breeder/buyer competition. All that is required is a submission of the bird’s performance over the 2014 season, with the winner being decided by an independent person. The viewing will take place from 18.00 with the sale starting 19.00 prompt the venue is the North Broomage Social & Welfare Club 8 Glenbervie Avenue Larbert Stirlingshire FK5 4NNFancier with the highest purchase of a bird on the evening will receive a litre bottle of whisky. Please see our advert in the BHW, yours Scott Morrison.’
Wise Owls
Received a letter from Mr W Joyce of Essex who wrote: ‘Dear Joe, reading your article about hawks and rockets I have been using these Scarcrow Owls since 2011 and my birds are out all day. I have introduced these to at least 10 fanciers including Brian Woodhouse and Mr & Mrs Deacon of Waterborville Hants and they all say they work - at least against sparrow hawks. A Scotsman had a letter in the pigeon book about his hawk problem and I sent him one and a month later he sent me a large bottle of whisky (who says the Scott’s are mean!) and asked for the address to send for some more. People pay hundreds of pounds for pigeons so urely it is worth £8.00 to save some? In 1943 we did a practice landing on Kirkcaldy beach that went wrong and we had to Kedge Anchor to pull ourselves off and we dragged it too soon and lost it and we were smashed up on the beach with 40ft waves. Believe me, we did not make the same mistake on D Day. I always copy your jokes for my next door neighbour and I think the one she liked best was about the ‘Hell’s Angel’ drinking the poison. The Wise Owls can be purchased from www.houseofbath.co.uk or phone 0871 984 2000. It states: the owl bodies sparkle brightly in the sunlight while the breeze tinkles its little bell as a humane shoo! The pack of two costs £7-95 and for that price is worth a try.’ Mr Joyce finishes off his letter by giving me a poem for the column.
The Little Pied
The little pied just sat and cried, he said ‘I’m so forlorn, I’ll never make a racer, why was I ever born. But as he read his Homing World he jumped up with a shout, and as he read the adverts, his little violet eyes popped out. They said if you have no energy and fly like some old Hobo, then get a letter in the post and get some herbs from Bobo. Well he sent off for a packet and mixed them with the corn. He didn’t win any races but they sure gave him the horn. He doesn’t have to race now of that he’s had enough. He now gets regular employment putting stock hens up the duff. ‘All the best Joe, yours W Joyce, a 91 year old fancier.’
Joe’s Joke
A pirate walked into a bar, and the publican said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible." "What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine." "What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before." "Well," said the pirate, "We were in a battle, and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now." The publican replied, "Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?"
The pirate explained, "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook but I'm fine, really.""What about that eye patch?""Oh," said the pirate, "One day we were at sea, and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up, and one of them shit in my eye." "You're kidding," said the publican. "You couldn't lose an eye just from bird shit - surely."
"It was my first day with the hook."
Mum's Bible
Four brothers left home for University, and they became successful doctors and lawyers. One evening, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the 95th birthday gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who moved to the Gold Coast. The first said, "You know I had a big house built for Mum." The second said, "And I had a large theatre built in the house." The third said, "And I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her." The fourth said, "You know how Mum loved reading the Bible and you know she can't read anymore because she can't see very well. I met this Minister who told me about a parrot who could recite the entire Bible. It took ten Ministers almost 8 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $50,000 a year for five years to the church, but it was worth it. Mum only has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot will recite it." The other brothers were impressed. After the celebration Mum sent out her "Thank You" notes. She wrote: Michael99 the house you built is so huge that I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway." "Mervin, I am too old to travel. I stay home; I have my groceries delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks." "Mark, you gave me an expensive theatre with Dolby sound and it can hold 50 people, but all of my friends are dead, I've lost my hearing, and I'm nearly blind. I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same." "Dearest Mitchell, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you so much. Love, Mum."
Please continue to keep the news flowing; to Joe Murphy Mystical Rose Cottage 2 Flutorum Avenue Thornton by Kirkcaldy KY1 4BD or phone 01592 770331 or to my NEW EMAIL ADDRESS at;
© Compiled by Joe Murphy
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